Studs & Duds: The Worst Fanbases In Football

Photo: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

...according to you. I cannot stress this enough, people. The only thing I am guilty of is asking the question.

And you've supplied the fireworks. I can only imagine every response to the question "who is the worst fanbase in all of football?" is fueled by rivalries, geographical proximity to your house or that one a-hole from high school who made it his personal mission to talk trash every week his team ate a 'W' and left you with a bad taste in your mouth.

Me? Personally? I don't really care what your motivation is. All I know is I got a lot really entertaining answers and today on this special Sunday edition of Studs & Duds, I wish to honor them. And so, without further ado, we sift through the rubble.

STUD - The New England Patriots

Yes, I would like to applaud Patriots fans for their fierce loyalty of their current dynasty. They show up in numbers and they worship the ground that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady walk on. Rightfully so. Six chips (with the dip) in 20 seasons with the same one-two punch at the forefront is as impressive of a run as we've seen in the history of the NFL.

But before I go too far down the Machine Gun Kelly path and compliment my roast victim too much, I will say this. The insecurity of this bunch is astounding. And the gall it takes to sit here and throw tantrums about "disrespect" and turn yourself into an underdog is enough to make anyone else's eyeballs roll circles in their heads. You poor things.

To complicate matters, the moment you cast criticism at Patriots fans, this is immediately the rebuttal:

The staunch defense of Julian Edelman as a top-5 NFL wide receiver "because of his playoff numbers" is the icing on the cake. Y'all really are the WORST.

"Well, Kyle. You grew up a Dolphins fan! Of course you're going to loathe the Patriots and their fans."

Yes and no. I have great appreciation and respect for the historic run we're seeing in New England. But winning so much so often has created an insufferable sub-section of Patriots fans that have known nothing but winning. Must be nice, but they're in for a rude awakening some day.

DUD - The Marshall Thundering Herd

Steve. My guy. It's Marshall. The Thundering Herd are buried in the backwoods and average less than 26,000 in attendance at their games over the last 5 seasons. This team and their fanbase are completely harmless. The Herd have been ranked at the end of a college football seasons three times. Ever. And the last time was in 2014 when the team won the *squints* Boca Raton Bowl.

This is a small fish in a massive pond -- let them live, Steve! Trust me -- there's a small school monster out there, but this ain't it.

STUD - The Philadelphia Eagles

I live in the greater Philadelphia area as a non-Eagles fan. I admire their passion. I admire the way they have lived and breathed this organization despite the long Super Bowl drought that only ended in early 2018. But I can most certainly see how this blue collared demographic can rub you the wrong way. Heck, I've experienced it first hand. I've been to Lincoln Financial Field in opposing team's gear (Miami in 2015...the Dolphins won, by the way). And I've had Philly Bro try to intentionally pee on my shoe at the urinals. I've been bumped walking down the stairs towards the concourse by Philly Bro. a Dolphins fan. You want to try to find a more benign opposing fanbase for Philadelphia than the Dolphins? The biggest game the Dolphins and Eagles have played is a fictional Super Bowl at the climax of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Plus, I lived through a year of Ben Solak making "World Champion" proclamations about Eagles. That alone gets them a spot on the Studs side.

DUD - The non-football responses

Well gee whiz, folks. When did I miss the Dodgers, the Warriors, the Islanders or the Red Sox joining the NFL?! I appreciate the sentiment. But answer the question. *WORSE FAN BASE IN FOOTBALL*

Are you guys just that filled with rage that you're dying for any excuse to slander an opposing fan base? If so, I'd love to go out to dinner and see it first hand.

Waiter: "Good evening, my name is Nomar and I'll be your server this evening. Can I get you guys something to drink?"

You, pupils dilated and teeth/fists clenched at the first mention of the name Nomar because it reminds you of former shortstop Nomar Garciaparra: "You have *the Red Sox suck* on draft? I could really go for a tall glass of that. Your parents from Boston? What year were you born?"

Dial it back, friends.

STUD - The North Dakota State Bison

Have you ever been tarred and feathered by an FCS fanbase? It's weird. The Bison fanbase personally suited up and grabbed the pitchforks for suggestions Easton Stick, who had a bad week of practice at the 2019 East/West Shrine Game, had a bad week of practice at the 2019 East/West Shrine Game.

Stick would go on to get drafted on Day 3 this year by the Los Angeles Chargers and figures to serve as the team's QB3 behind Tyrod Taylor and Phillip Rivers. And he's expected to fill a Taysom Hill-type role (FUN! Got to love taking the ball out of your bast passer's hands!) for the Chargers. I'm happy for him in that capacity.

But rewind to January. Trying to have an objective conversation with Bison fans about Stick and his pro prospects was difficult because you'd have thought he was the second coming of Carson Wentz. Trust me, I tried.

DUD - The Colorado Buffaloes

Hold the phone. I got more than one vote for Colorado, too. The team with exactly one winning season in the last 12 years has a terrible fanbase? Their five year attendance average is nearly 8,000 higher than Michigan State. They rank in the top half of the country for FBS schools. So the team is bad and gets respectable turnout. How in the world is this the WORST fan base in football? There's zero percent this group is collectively cocky. I refuse to believe it.

STUD - The Glasgow Celtic

Gordon McGuinness, you sly fox.

In an all-time loophole move, Gordon gave me a *football* team when I wanted a football team. But upon further review, the vote counts. I know nothing about the Glasgow Celtic or their fanbase. But as someone who has some Scottish roots, I know they like their whisky, I know they like a lot of it and I know they're passionate about their *football*. Welcome to the Studs Club, Glasgow.

DUD - The Kansas Jayhawks

I'm assuming this shoutout is in the direction of the basketball program, but hey. Guess what? That means your reading comprehension skills stink and it's a bad vote anyway. But, let's just assume for a moment that it is legitimately intended for the football program. Kansas gets higher average attendance than the Duke Blue Devils (football team) over the last five years.

You know how many wins Kansas fans have seen in the last 5 years? Les Miles could show up at your house, cut off one of your thumbs and you'd still have enough digits left to count the wins. And they out-draw Duke, who has averaged over 7 wins a year in that same timespan.

You ever see a cocky Kansas football fan? What would that look like?

"Trust me dude, you guys have got this in the BAG! I guarantee you we blow this!"

*Kansas blows it*


Written By:

Kyle Crabbs

Director of Content

Director of Content & Senior NFL Draft Analyst for The Draft Network. Co-host of the Draft Dudes podcast. Former NDT Scouting Overlord.