How The Seattle Seahawks Won Super Bowl 54

Photo: © Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the best NFL offseason series you'll ever read -- that is, if you're like me, and you want nothing more than the blissful lie that your team will be good in 2019. How Your Team Won Super Bowl 54 will take you through each NFL franchise with one goal in mind: convincing you that there's at least one universe in which Your Team wins it all. I'm Doctor Strange, you're Tony Stark, the Avengers are Your Team, Thanos is...Bill Belichick? I've lost the metaphor.

One thing's for sure: You'll die in the end. Your Team is going to win Super Bowl 54.

Green Bay Packers

Minnesota Vikings

Chicago Bears

San Francisco 49ers

Arizona Cardinals

Atlanta Falcons

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Washington Redskins

New York Giants

Dallas Cowboys

Seattle Seahawks

Hand the keys over to the nerds, you cowards

I love Seahawks Twitter -- how could you not? A rabid fanbase, engaged with the team and its intricacies to the point of self-loathing; a schooled group of analysts, as unafraid of sharing their perspectives as they are of accosting one another's opinions with reckless fury. They are smart, self-aware, and hilarious fun to observe as a third party.

Now, I don't think they can run a team -- as much as I'd like to see a few of their wildest personalities as general managers and head coaches (looking at you, cmikesspinmove). The in-fighting and discombobulation would rival Hue Jackson in Cleveland levels -- though, again, from an entertainment perspective, I'm fully here for it.

But while they may not be able to fully usurp control of the Seahawks, hence known as the petri dish of the millenni-NFL, their influence is desperately needed in Seattle. That's part of what makes Seahawks Twitter so charming: their circumstance. The Seahawks coaching staff and offensive philosophy falls in traditional lines, even as the NFL pushes the boundaries of balance hegemony with heavier and smarter passing attacks. For such a forward-thinking fanbase to be shackled to an offense of the old guard is more than ironic -- it spurs on both their work and their insanity.

The Seahawks were the only team last season to run the ball more than they passed the ball.

The Seahawks were the only team last season to run the ball more than they passed the ball.

It is objectively pitiful, for a team with Russell Wilson at QB, to ask him to hand off more frequently than drop back. And the funny thing is: the Seahawks were good at running the football last year! 4.7 yards/attempt on an (almost) league-leading 588 rushing attempts illustrates how well they were able to pound the rock. But they were also good in large part at throwing the football, and good throwing plays are markedly more valuable than good running plays. They produce more yardage, have a better chance of turning into an explosive play, and put you in better down & distance situations.

The zeitgeist of Seahawks Twitter was skepticism when Brian Schottenheimer was first hired, and skepticism abounds after the results of the season, faceplant in the playoffs, and cheerful ignorance and resistance to change. The Seahawks and Pete Carroll have been trading on the value of Russell Wilson and other high-impact late-round selections for years, but as Doug Baldwin retires; Earl Thomas and Richard Sherman relocate; Frank Clark departs in free agency; there's a new guard needed to bolster a coaching staff with a questionable approach.

Plenty of valid, useful NFL thought has come from Twitter -- and Seahawks Twitter itself is an example of that. Sean Clement, a Seattle fan and data analyst, was just hired as a Quantitative Analyst for the Baltimore Ravens. These groups not only produce value, but they do so in large part because of their distance from the league, rather than an embedded upbringing. They have the outside view the NFL shuns.

And perhaps that's what's needed for Brian Schottenheimer in Seattle. He's been insulated in NFL circles by the legacy of his father and the familiar face of his Coryell offense -- he has done what has always been done, in the manner in which it's always been done. And that wasn't bad -- the Seahawks made the playoffs, for God's sake -- but there is a lack of innovation and courage on the 50,000 foot level of the Seattle organization.

The nerds of Seahawks Twitter could help solve that. Not by petri dishing the entire franchise, as I suggested above, but by continuing to challenge the norm and fracture the cocoon of NFL thought. The Seahawks are a fascinating organization, and Seahawks Twitter an accordingly enjoyable corner of the Internet, for much this reason: I'm waiting with breath held for the consummate proof that public NFL data, passionate fans, and the dumbest microblogging cesspool in the world led to measurable change in an NFL franchise. That could happen in Seattle.

That could happen in Seattle -- it probably won't, to the degree to which I want to see it -- but it could. And if and when it does, it won't necessarily be a Super Bowl win -- but it would be as big a victory as us third-party analysts can win. It will validate our efforts and further legitimize our claims. And it will be funny as h*ck.

How The Seattle Seahawks Won Super Bowl 54

The body of work was an active, downfield passing game captained by DEKAYLIN, Tyler Lockette, and Will Goddang Dissly. Mix two parts play action, one part rollout, and a dash of 4th down attempts and leave to chill for 16 weeks, stirring occasionally with a draw play to sate the Schotten-stans. Serve over a bed of Russell Wilson highlight reel scrambles. Garnish with Mike Solari-coached hog mollies. Season with used Pete Carroll chewing gum.

I hope they beat the Patriots on a two-yard touchdown run, too.

How many universes does this happen in?

45 out of 1000. If they get a pass rush, they win the division this year.

How it all goes wrong

How about a two-yard run on a critical 3rd-and-7 late in a wild card playoff game? Or is that too unrealistic?

Written By:

Benjamin Solak

Director of Special Projects

Director of Special Projects and Senior NFL Draft Analyst for The Draft Network. Co-host of the Locked On NFL Draft Podcast. The 3-Wide Raven.